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Should I get a Prenup?

How many of you have heard the statistic that 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce? It’s all over the media! I’ve seen this fact come across my phone screen multiple times. Honestly, it’s a little bit terrifying! Learning that half of all marriages end negatively isn’t the most encouraging thing. Maybe the first step though is to check your sources. According to Virginia Pellet at fatherly.com, “The famous adage, that half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, seems to belie a basic fact about the divorce rate in America. But if the divorce rate in the US feels like a death sentence, making even the happiest and most secure relationships feel their vulnerability in challenging times, it’s time to take a step back and a sobering look at the numbers. That’s because there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to what percentage of marriages end in divorce. In fact, divorce statistics are famously flawed, making the question of what is the divorce rate in ...
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The Influence of a Father

     I've always been intrigued by the idea that fathers play a very specific and important role in the home. In fact, this has been so fascinating to me that I've decided to dedicate my future career to keeping fathers in homes. I've spent a lot of time researching this topic and each time I learn more about it, the importance of a righteous father is confirmed to me. A few years ago, I wrote a research paper about this and felt that now would be an appropriate time to share it. The ideas presented in this paper go hand in hand with the things I've recently learned about the family and I'm confident that these facts can convince just about anyone how important it is to have an actively engaged father in any child's life. Here it is, hope you all enjoy:)  Fatherless Homes and Their Effects on Families/Nations             Think about your favorite television show. Now think about the type of families in that show....
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The Key to a Happy Relationship

          “Communication is key”. Cliché, right? Well, maybe its cliché for a reason. Healthy relationships are founded on the principal of good communication. Think about all the problems that can be avoided by simply being open with your partner. The result of any conflict is always better when you talk about things rather than act in an irrational way or do something you might regret. In reality, communication is a preventative practice. In addition to being a way to prevent and solve conflict, it is also a way to express sympathy, concern, and love for another person, deepening current relationships.               Since this is such an important principle, it’s necessary to learn how to do it effectively. While successful communication can save a relationship, ineffective communication can destroy one. For me, I’ve learned the most about conveying my emotions from the examples (both good...
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Now we're Stressed Out!

            There’s a family that I love dearly. For the sake of confidentiality, I’ll call them the Smiths. Most of their kids are older, moved out, and starting their own families, but they do have two kids who I attended high school with. They are well known in the community and loved by everyone. About two years ago, they received the sad news that their dad had taken his own life. He had just finished serving in a leadership position in church and his death was unexpected to say the least. As time continued, they discovered that their dad has been having an affair and just couldn’t handle the guilt anymore. Situations like this are hard to even imagine, so I will make no effort to say I know how they felt, but at some point, every family will endure hardship, hopefully not as extreme, but still inevitable. Now, the most shocking part of this story wasn’t the circumstances surrounding it, but actually the Smith’s reactions. Mrs. Smith had always ...
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Divorce? Not for me, not for you.

     In the past 5 years, I’ve watched too many marriages suddenly just end. Most of the time, these couples are ones who from the outside seemed perfectly happy. Even couples I looked up to and admired. In almost every case, a few weeks later the truth would come out… either the husband or wife was having an affair. Maybe this is just my sheltered mind and small convenience sample, but when I think about divorce, my mind usually goes to infidelity. All too often, I hear heart wrenching stories about people who married the love of their lives only to find out their spouse is not the person they thought they were and are living a different life, with a different person. It also seems ever more apparent on TV. I’m sure all of us can name a show or movie that involves one of the main characters being unfaithful to their spouse. Although it’s being normalized, nobody wants to watch the person they love be dishonest. It only ends in heartache.      Easier than...
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Staying Satisfied in a Marriage... even after kids.

     Staggering fact of the day, according to the Journal of Family Psychology, “After having a baby, 67 percent of couples see their marital satisfaction plummet…”. A little scary right? I’ll be the first one to say I was surprised to hear this, but after spending time thinking about it, I realized it made sense. Adding another human into any relationship has to be crazy demanding, especially when that human needs constant care. We can only devote so much of ourselves to someone and having a child means dividing your resources, maybe even spreading yourself a little thin. This doesn’t sound super pleasant to me, and obviously I want to have a successful and happy family. I want to be satisfied with my marriage even after having kids. In fact, I want my contentment to grow as my future husband and I raise a family together. So how does one do that?       The Journal of Family Communications talks about three key areas in which marital satisfaction is f...
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Getting to Know You...

Let me start by exposing myself a little bit. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m from a small town and I’ve grown up with the same set of friends and peers for almost 8 years. At least in high school, the saying “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” wasn’t exactly true. Usually, you ended up dating the same guys your friends did. That’s just the way it worked. When you accounted for your expectations, the list of possibilities was quite small. I only really dated one person in high school but went on plenty of dates with boys in my friend group. In college, I explored my options a little more and dated people from outside my little city. I’d say I learned from those experiences, but something inside always drew me back to the guys I’d grown up with. When I came home after serving and 18-month mission for my church, I realized many of my old friends felt the same way. Very unexpectedly, some of my male friends I’d grown up with sort of flocked back into my life. I was surprised to learn that...
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