Should I get a Prenup?

How many of you have heard the statistic that 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce? It’s all over the media! I’ve seen this fact come across my phone screen multiple times. Honestly, it’s a little bit terrifying! Learning that half of all marriages end negatively isn’t the most encouraging thing. Maybe the first step though is to check your sources. According to Virginia Pellet at fatherly.com, “The famous adage, that half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, seems to belie a basic fact about the divorce rate in America. But if the divorce rate in the US feels like a death sentence, making even the happiest and most secure relationships feel their vulnerability in challenging times, it’s time to take a step back and a sobering look at the numbers. That’s because there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to what percentage of marriages end in divorce. In fact, divorce statistics are famously flawed, making the question of what is the divorce rate in the U.S. actually way more complicated than it seems.” So, maybe we’ve been wearing ourselves too much. Let’s take a look at the real facts.

In 2019, the United States actually experienced the lowest divorce rate we’ve seen in the past 50 years. Census data showed that for every 1000 marriages, only 14.9 ended in divorce. (Ifstudies.org) This is exciting news! As we’ve talked about in the past, the most successful families are those with two parents, male and female, who have never been divorced. The sad new though is that this false statistic has caused many young people to start preparing for divorce rather than a successful marriage. Questions like “should I get a prenuptial agreement?”, “what job should I get, just in case I need to provide for my family by myself?”, etc. are now common. It seems that “just in case” is becoming more common that “I can’t wait”. This is a damaging attitude to have.

Most of us have heard the quote “Failing to plan is planning to fail”. It’s not the fact that today’s generation is planning for divorce, but rather that they AREN’T planning for a successful marriage. Creating a happy family takes effort. If that time is instead dedicated to making back-up plans, when marriage happens, you’ve almost set yourself up to fail. That’s why it’s important that the truth about divorce rates becomes clear in the news and media. As this happens, young people will dedicate themselves more to learning about how to have a successful marriage. When they become educated about this, society as a whole improves. So, what can we to advocate for the spread truth and better education for creating good marriages?

With every effort to change something, we must first change the way we speak with others. Currently, I’m working as a teacher’s assistant. One of the classes I’ve been helping with recently completed a project where they were given the assignment to somehow advocate for the family. Over half the class chose to have a conversation with someone who had actively spoken out against the traditional family. It has been truly inspiring to read about those conversations. Many of them have resulted in a softened heart or changed ideology. That’s what happens when we speak up. This can be done in many ways. Think about how many people a simple social media post can touch. Or think about the number of times your friends have been talking about the future and suddenly fear creeps in. These present the perfect opportunity to speak the truth. The “facts” about unsuccessful marriages are untrue. As this is expressed, motivation to build happy marriages emerges and life improve. So, next time you think about or hear someone else talk about getting a prenup, ask yourself, "Am I preparing for a good marriage? or divorce? 

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