The Influence of a Father

     I've always been intrigued by the idea that fathers play a very specific and important role in the home. In fact, this has been so fascinating to me that I've decided to dedicate my future career to keeping fathers in homes. I've spent a lot of time researching this topic and each time I learn more about it, the importance of a righteous father is confirmed to me. A few years ago, I wrote a research paper about this and felt that now would be an appropriate time to share it. The ideas presented in this paper go hand in hand with the things I've recently learned about the family and I'm confident that these facts can convince just about anyone how important it is to have an actively engaged father in any child's life. Here it is, hope you all enjoy:) 

Fatherless Homes and Their Effects on Families/Nations

            Think about your favorite television show. Now think about the type of families in that show. How many of them include both a biological father and mother living together and raising their children? Most of you probably found that this was not the case. It’s become increasingly more common for fathers to be uninvolved in the lives of those we see in the media. Most movies now focus on women, portraying them as people who don’t need men and can face the world alone. Even as you scroll through Hulu or Netflix, you find tv shows and movies categorized into groups titled Strong Women in Reality Tv, or Females in Leading Roles. In addition, they attribute problems like poverty, decrease in education, bullying, and sexual abuse to men. The media wants you to believe that these political issues are present because of toxic masculinity or persecution of women, but perhaps a better answer is found in the lack of men.

            The number of children raised in fatherless homes has reached an all-time high. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1960 8% of children lived alone with their mothers. By 2012, that number increased to 24.4% (The Extent of Fatherlessness). This statistic accounts only for those raised just by their mother and does not include kids raised by their non-biological father. This means that millions of children are growing up with no father-figure. Maybe this sounds insignificant but understanding the effects that this has on the future of children in such households shows how detrimental this culture is for our country and livelihood.

            One of most prevalent problems fatherless children face is living in poverty. Meaning inadequate conditions, lack of food, lack of shelter, inability to receive an effective education, and much more. “The poverty rate for all children in married-couple families is 8.2 percent. By contrast, the poverty rate for all children in single-parent families is four times higher at 35.2 percent” (Rector, 2002). Living within these means comes with a large group of personal adverse effects, but also widely affects the nation. Historically, our efforts to combat poverty have involved increased taxes for citizens. Most of our country’s welfare systems are highly focused on supporting single mothers and their families. In 2008 a report tilted The Hundred Billion Dollar Man estimated that the government spends at least $99.8 billion assisting homes with no father (Johnston, 2018). Thus, the poverty caused by lack of patriarchal figures is a burden our whole nation is carrying. In addition, children cannot be expected to pursue employment without a good example of what a hard-worker and provider looks likes. Essentially, low-income becomes multi-generational, expanding problems beyond just this time period and largely effecting the country’s future.

            On a more personal level, many children raised without fathers struggle with substance abuse. I’ve seen this statistic first-hand. For the most part, I live in a community with healthy and virtuous families. Because of this, everyone’s aware of what kids don’t have a dad at home. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many of these kids fall into drugs and alcohol. One student I graduated with even confessed to selling drugs. Understand that I live in a very small town. My graduating class was only about 115 people, about 12 of which were using illegal substances and did not have a father-figure in their home. That’s about 10%. Also mind the fact that my town is majority LDS, so this is a conservative estimate. Imagine these numbers outside such a city as mine. Perhaps a place like Detroit where crime and drugs run rampant. How can a child be expected to avoid such problems without a father to teach them high moral principles and discipline? A 2011 survey analyzing 15 & 16-year-old students in Liverpool, London, and Derby revealed the following, “The fatherless young people were found to be almost 70 per cent more likely to take drugs and 76 per cent more likely to turn to crime” (Satherly, 2011). If affirmation and comfort cannot be found in the home, children will turn to outside sources like gangs. This involvement often introduces teens to harmful drugs, leading to lifetime addiction, abuse, and illegal activity.

            Men are more likely to engage with young children in playful activities that help stimulate their social and emotional growth. When a boy wrestles with his father, he is learning how to control aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing his cool (Rosenberg & Wilcox, 2006). So, what happens when daddy-daughter dates, or rough-housing on the carpet are taken out of the equation? Perhaps one of the most alarming and heart-wrenching effects of an absent father is that of decreased mental health. Children without a father are twice as likely to commit suicide and rates of illness like depression or anxiety are much higher than those in both-parent homes (2017). My older brother came home from his mission after being diagnosed with clinical anxiety. Upon judgement from himself, his friends, and his community, he fell into a deep depressive state. It seemed like guilt and shame engulfed him. I remember many days where all he did was sleep or watch TV, but I also remember the tender moments he shared with my dad. Countless nights, I found them engaged in emotional conversations, both of them almost in tears. I look back on this experience and think about how different things would be had my dad not been there. Of course, my mom would have stepped up to the plate, but nothing can replace the bond between a father and son. My brother is now happily married and has found joy in his work, but I can’t help but wonder if his life would be what it is right now, if my dad wasn’t there to comfort and guide him.
            As mentioned earlier father’s modeling appropriate physical contact and aggressive behavior is important in the development of young men. Evidence suggests that father absence strongly correlates with violent crime. The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that in 2017 African Americans were incarcerated at a rate of 61.6% and Caucasians were imprisoned at a rate of 18.7% (Zeng, 2019). The media claims this is due to racial discrimination during prosecution and even labels such statistics as white-supremist myths. This is disproven by the fact that 65% of black children are being raised in single-parent homes (National KIDS COUNT, 2019). The real reason for so-called “mass incarceration” is not racism, but lack of father involvement in childhood. Thus, single-mother homes are more likely to produce aggressive teenagers and adults, raising imprisonment rates and taking more fathers away from their children.

            Conversely, with a father present, men are taught to respect women and hold high moral standards. To many, this means refraining from sexual activity unless relationships are long-term and committal, but this standard seems to be decreasing. Television and media support and even encourage many teenagers to “sleep around” and explore their sexuality. Yet, fathers typically teach the opposite. No dad wants his daughter involved in such an unhealthy relationship, where focus is placed only on physicality. This is better understood when teen pregnancy rates in father-absent homes are analyzed. “Girls whose fathers left either before they were born or up to age 5 were seven to eight times more at risk of becoming pregnant as an adolescent than girls living with their fathers. A father's departure between ages 6 to13 suggested a two to three times greater risk of becoming pregnant” (Allen, 2003). These types of pregnancies pose a number of problems, only some of which include harm to the economy, inadequate education, increased number of abortions, and increased number of children put in the foster care system. Fatherlessness is proven to be the only valid link with such issues. Study of several other factors such as age, race and delinquency found that father involvement was the only component that decreased a child’s chances of being involved in sexual relations. It also proved no other family process was statistically significant (Schwarzwalder & Tax, 2015). A father’s influence in his daughter’s life is unmatched, as they encourage high moral standards that not only affect girls, but also affect our country’s public virtue.
            Similarly, father-son relationships are vital. Without a paternal figure, boys often experience gender confusion. No example of masculinity is present. Therefore, they develop more feminine traits. A gender study of males aged 5-15 years old observed the following, “When unconscious gender identity was measured, a feminine response pattern was shown by boys whose father had always been absent. Boys who only had a father present in the first year of their lives and no paternal surrogate showed a feminine response pattern when conscious gender identity and gender identity preference was measured” (Lange). One might argue this is a good thing, as women tend to show more gentle nurturing traits, but loss of masculinity is dangerous for families and society. This creates a deficit in important roles like that of a provider, protector, and producer. Men have an innate and biological desire to procreate. If such a desire is not present, humanity begins to decline. This is especially important in reference to God’s plan. Members of the church are commanded to multiply and replenish the Earth. Masculine characteristics aide in this effort, but when they are taken away Heavenly Father’s will is ignored. In order to be faithful to the commandments, but also to create a growing population, men must be involved.

            Interestingly, fatherlessness increases abusive relationships. In certain cases, the biological father could have been the aggressor. Of course, in this situation, it is better for the family that he leaves. But more common is the neglect and abuse presented by persons replacing a child’s biological father. As have many others, I’ve witnessed this first-hand. A certain family in my community went through a rough divorce. Visitation rights were granted to both the father and mother. Quickly after the divorce, each of them started dating. After a few months, my family recognized that something was different. The kids seemed suddenly quiet and depressed. Soon after, one of them confided in my brother and revealed their mom’s new boyfriend was both physically and emotionally abusive to him, his sisters, and his mom. After that, it wasn’t uncommon to hear him say things like “I hate being at my mom’s house”, or “I’d rather just be with my dad.” This was heart-breaking to witness, and it opened my eyes to the importance of having a supportive father who’s there as often as possible. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon story. The Child’s Bureau says, “Compared to children living with married biological parents, those whose single parent had a live-in partner had more than 8 times the rate of maltreatment overall, over 10 times the rate of abuse and more than 6 times the rate of neglect” (Steward, 2013).

A neglectful or absent father also strongly correlates with low academic achievement. In a survey of almost 14,00 students, researchers found that “compared to youth who have always lived with both biological parents, youth who have experienced any pathway involving the divorce/separation of biological parents or a nonunion birth report significantly, although moderately, lower GPAs” (Tillman, 2007). Such academic results negatively affect our society as they influence further education and employment. Even more drastic is the fact that 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless home. That’s nine times more than the national average (“The Fatherless Generation”, 2018). This type of education disqualifies teens from most U.S. jobs. Meaning, they seek support from the government. In turn, increasing taxes and decreasing economic success. Proving again the father absence is bad for our country and economy.

            Political experts and society analysts have a lot to say about the topic of fatherlessness, but so do church leaders. It is clearly stated in church doctrine that fathers are essential. Revelation given to prophets helps clarify the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint’s stance on this topic. In the Family a Proclamation to the World, it says “by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” In short, fathers are to be present. This is divine guidance given to us from an all-knowing God. Elder Oaks expanded on this idea in his October 2018 talk titled Truth and the Plan when he said, “Under the great plan of our loving Creator, the mission of His restored Church is to help the children of God achieve the supernal blessing of exaltation in the celestial kingdom, which can be attained only through an eternal marriage between a man and a woman” (Oaks, 2018). Traditional family structures where father and mother work together are the best and most divine way to raise successful, God-like children; which is a celestial principle.

            As Heavenly Father’s children, our ultimate goal is to become like Him. This involves raising righteous children who contribute to the building of God’s Kingdom. Elder Oaks also shared the following about the church church’s unique views, “we also have a distinctive perspective on children. We look on the bearing and nurturing of children as part of God’s plan and a joyful and sacred duty of those given the power to participate in it. In our view, the ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity. Therefore, we must teach and contend for principles and practices that provide the best conditions for the development and happiness of children—all children” (Oaks, 2018). In order to accomplish this, it is imperative to have a dad or paternal figure in the home. When the negative effects of father absence are present, efforts to rear celestial children are hindered.

        As Satan’s influence increases, the value of fathers will only decrease. The media will continue to misrepresent men and make them seem unneeded, television shows about women empowerment will grow, and masculinity will become the root of all problems. But, what’s politically correct has often show to be statistically incorrect. Father absent homes experience poverty, substance abuse, mental health problems, limited education, teen pregnancies, abuse, and neglect. Thus, fathers must be present to raise virtuous families, create successful nations, and live celestially.