By Divine Design

          “Communication is key”. Cliché, right? Well, maybe its cliché for a reason. Healthy relationships are founded on the principal of good communication. Think about all the problems that can be avoided by simply being open with your partner. The result of any conflict is always better when you talk about things rather than act in an irrational way or do something you might regret. In reality, communication is a preventative practice. In addition to being a way to prevent and solve conflict, it is also a way to express sympathy, concern, and love for another person, deepening current relationships.               Since this is such an important principle, it’s necessary to learn how to do it effectively. While successful communication can save a relationship, ineffective communication can destroy one. For me, I’ve learned the most about conveying my emotions from the examples (both good...

            There’s a family that I love dearly. For the sake of confidentiality, I’ll call them the Smiths. Most of their kids are older, moved out, and starting their own families, but they do have two kids who I attended high school with. They are well known in the community and loved by everyone. About two years ago, they received the sad news that their dad had taken his own life. He had just finished serving in a leadership position in church and his death was unexpected to say the least. As time continued, they discovered that their dad has been having an affair and just couldn’t handle the guilt anymore. Situations like this are hard to even imagine, so I will make no effort to say I know how they felt, but at some point, every family will endure hardship, hopefully not as extreme, but still inevitable. Now, the most shocking part of this story wasn’t the circumstances surrounding it, but actually the Smith’s reactions. Mrs. Smith had always ...

     In the past 5 years, I’ve watched too many marriages suddenly just end. Most of the time, these couples are ones who from the outside seemed perfectly happy. Even couples I looked up to and admired. In almost every case, a few weeks later the truth would come out… either the husband or wife was having an affair. Maybe this is just my sheltered mind and small convenience sample, but when I think about divorce, my mind usually goes to infidelity. All too often, I hear heart wrenching stories about people who married the love of their lives only to find out their spouse is not the person they thought they were and are living a different life, with a different person. It also seems ever more apparent on TV. I’m sure all of us can name a show or movie that involves one of the main characters being unfaithful to their spouse. Although it’s being normalized, nobody wants to watch the person they love be dishonest. It only ends in heartache.      Easier than...

     Staggering fact of the day, according to the Journal of Family Psychology, “After having a baby, 67 percent of couples see their marital satisfaction plummet…”. A little scary right? I’ll be the first one to say I was surprised to hear this, but after spending time thinking about it, I realized it made sense. Adding another human into any relationship has to be crazy demanding, especially when that human needs constant care. We can only devote so much of ourselves to someone and having a child means dividing your resources, maybe even spreading yourself a little thin. This doesn’t sound super pleasant to me, and obviously I want to have a successful and happy family. I want to be satisfied with my marriage even after having kids. In fact, I want my contentment to grow as my future husband and I raise a family together. So how does one do that?       The Journal of Family Communications talks about three key areas in which marital satisfaction is f...